Sex Talk Too Late


A study reveals parents wait too long to talk about sex. I agree. Our children are exposed to sex much younger these days, and they are engaging in various forms of sexual activity at younger ages. What can a parent do?  One study suggests parents knock off two years from when they think they should talk about sex.  That may be a good rule of thumb, but you may want to talk even sooner than that.

I suggest parents  use what is in the environment around them to talk about sex. One doesn’t have to look very far. An ad showing a sexy woman sitting next to a dog prompted one very young boy to ask his mother, “Will the lady sex the dog?” He understood sexy and sex went together, even if he was unclear on the whole concept.  That little boy’s question was a wonderful teaching moment.

Begin paying attention for those teachable moments!

Most of you reading this blog have teen daughters. I hope you have had the sex talk with them by now. If not, please start today!

Remember to use the COAL technique for listening: Curious, Openness, Acceptance and Love. You don’t want to shame your daughter in any way when you have a conversation about sex. Ask her opinions. Ask what she wants to know. Be as open and honest as you can. 

Knowledge is power. Teens are getting a lot of their knowledge from the Internet. (Google free porn and see for yourself…. go ahead.. I’ll wait) Kids who watch free porn, (and the percentage of teens who do are staggering) aren’t getting a great education about sex. They are only getting an education about porn!

Sex on TV usually shows the excitement, it rarely shows the buying of contraception, the doctor visits sex requires when one become sexually active, or the consequences of an unwanted pregnancy, or even the emotional aftermath of sex. Kids aren’t learning the full truth about sex from TV.  They need to learn it from you!

Many of you have asked me if you should supply your teen with condoms. Does it encourage sex?

I believe that contraception stops teens from getting pregnant. It doesn’t lead them to having sex. They are already biologically primed for the “urge to merge.” With teen pregnancies on the rise, available condoms and the knowledge of their proper use, are desperately needed.

Every family needs to decide  for themselves how they want to handle their teens budding sexuality. But putting your head in the sand and not talking openly and honestly about sex isn’t the way to go. You do your child a big disservice.